Who is Lisa Faulkner?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/05/03/adopting-billie-is-the-best-thing-that-s-ever-happened-to-us-115875-22229855/

Who is Lisa Faulkner you may ask? I certainly did. Having been out of the UK for many years, and even when I was there not a massive TV viewer, I had no idea who this television actress was.

Yet someone pointed her out to me recently as an exemplary woman who showed the 'other side' of infertility/subfertility - where IVF doesn't work and you have to think of something else. For some this is adoption and for others it is a decision to lead a child-free life. Each is a completely valid life-choice. This 'side' is so under-represented in the press.

The press rarely reports the cases where IVF doesn't work because (a) people like to hear success stories, not sad ones; and (b) individuals are probably less willing to put themselves out there if they fear they will be viewed as a 'failure' - so it is great that there is the occasional story like this to change public perception. We need more honest accounts like this one.

There is nothing but positive from her story. In her case, they opted for adoption and there are some wonderful points that jump out from her story:

• the path to motherhood can be via a different route - adoption;
• you are no less a 'woman' if you adopt this route and you can hold your head up in public and say 'look at me!';
• how emotionally and financially draining IVF can be, not to say cruel;
• that the adoption process is not easy and requires determination; it took them two years to be approved given the vigorous review process they undertake of prospective parents;
• adoption can be so rewarding - they have looked every minute of having their little girl Billie. She says, "adopting is such an incredible thing to do. I really can't imagine what our lives would be like without Billie."

It also highlights what a difference having a supportive husband or partner will make. He spoke of his desire to adopt if IVF didn't work, was supportive and had a great sense of humour through it all. She was very lucky and I am sure that made a massive difference. They were on the same page with respect to how they wanted to create their family unit and got through it together. Not every couple is so fortunate on this front, and it can create a whole new set of challenges to work through when you have already gone through so much.

So I would like to congratulate Lisa for her honesty and for being a real woman. She tells it to us like it was for her. She doesn't hide the fact that IVF doesn't always work. Even the miracle doctor in the UK Dr Taranissi of ARGC in London wasn't able to make it work for them (he is the doctor credited in the press recently for helping Penny Lancaster get pregnant via IVF). But that was okay, as with the wonderful support of her husband, they were able to create a family via adoption.

AFA Blog Link: http://theafa.typepad.com/theafablog/2010/09/who-is-lisa-faulkner.html